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Tub's Cat Box News©
By Tub Plymate,  Felines best I am a lot smarter then Harry or Bob

Tub's Adventure in New York City

I guess I should tell you why I was gone for a couple of months. You see there is this little kitty that I know who works at the Coco Cabongo Club in New York City. She is a lovely cat and I might as well admit that I am kind of stuck on her. Harry says that anyone who would work in a place like that would not be worth the time. He is so pious. What about Mime, the little Pomie that he went nuts over at the state fair last year? If it wasn't for his buddy spike getting him out of trouble when the carnival dogs came after him, Harry would be a memory now. Good grief, why do I waste time talking about Harry? Back to Coco. 

Well, I got this note from the Coco Cabongo Club that there had been some trouble out there. Somehow I knew that Coco must be in trouble. I asked Bob for money to fly to NYC. Right. He’s tighter than the bar door on Sunday. Anyhow I managed to scrape together enough for a ticket, first class. I sat by this goof who hadn’t ever heard of Harry's Best® Pet Food or the gang back there in Nebraska. He said he was a New Yorker, ordered scotch on the rocks - the smell will kill you. I told him the old joke about the Scotch told the Irish that stuff was whiskey, and to get them back the Irish gave the Scotch a Bagpipe and told them it was a musical instrument (just kidding). He wasn't amused though. Of course I love the Scotch and the Irish. And after a couple more he started to babble about how smart New Yorkers were. I ordered a Bovine delight - that’s milk on ice with a twist of banana. The stewardess was a pretty young woman, but in my opinion was skimpily dressed. But considering the fact that I only wear a diamond collar, I guess I shouldn't talk. When I landed in New York, it was starting to rain and I jumped on a cab headed for the club. I was drenched and starting to get the sniffles when the cab pulled up in front of the club. I could see a guard at the front door checking every one going in. I could hear the band playing - it had to be time for Coco's number. I had to get in there. I buzzed around back in the alley to climb in through a window, which was a bad idea. There in the alley were the scroungest group of cats I had ever seen. And me, with this diamond collar. Boy, I wished Spike, the pit bull, was here now. Maybe I could bluff my way. Good evening gentlemen, I am Tub, from Nebraska. Nice evening. My, you fellows sure look good, as I slowly backed toward the door, hoping that it was unlocked. "Claud is my name sir," said one of the cats. "Now isn't it nice to have such a visitor from Nebraska. Grab him boys!" Just then the back door opened and fur flew in every direction. Fortunately I got inside with just a little scratch behind my left ear. 

I could hear the band start to play with a rumba beat. This had to be Coco's number. I managed to get backstage and looking in through the curtain there she was, so beautiful. I almost forgot why I was there. She looked a little like a feline Carmine Meranda. I knew the only way to get to her to talk was to dance my way out on the stage. Fortunately I had been giving Harry Rumba lessons back at the plant. Just as the bouncer was about to grab me, I jumped into the number. Coco looked at me as if to say, I’m happy you are here but, my goodness, what are you doing? We embraced there in the middle of the floor, and for a fleeting moment everything else disappeared and we began to dance cheek to cheek. Coco's whiskers tickled my nose. Coco whispered, "You fool, why did you come here, I am in so much trouble!" As we danced round and round to the Cuban music, I started looking for a way out of there. I said "Coco, when I whirl you around, jump with me through that open stage trap door." We jumped, but suddenly a hand from nowhere grabbed us. I slipped away but I could hear Coco crying. They’d caught her. "I'll be back," I shouted as I escaped into the night. Good thing I am a cat. It was pitch dark outside. I could see pretty good. Now what to do? How can I save Coco? A light went on up near the top of the old theater building. There were bars on the window. I could see Coco's shadow way up there. I waited a while in the dark cold night. A patch of hair was missing from my tail and I was freezing.

Bob won't believe all that has happened. 

About midnight, I climbed up to the window and being a little chubby this was not easy. Harry is always telling me to get one of those exercise bikes or something. I finally got to the outside of where Coco was locked up. I whispered "Coco, Coco, are you in there?" "Yes," her little weak voice answered. "Oh Tub, I am so scared." I whispered "Not to worry child, I am here to rescue you. How did you get into this mess, anyhow?" 

Coco said she was kidnapped by some unscrupulous people to be sent to a laboratory for some kind of research. "What?" I said. "Yes. Of course you know that I lived in Oregon with my friend Ginger. I had just gone out into the yard and was looking at some grass to chew when I was scooped up by a net and thrown into the back seat of a car. Ginger happened to see this out the window and came running out after the car. This was the saddest day of my life. I loved Ginger so much. They took me to the laboratory in another state. Well, because you know I am a three color cat, I was sold to the owner of the Coco Cobongo Club and I have been forced to sing and dance ever since. Oh Tub, can you get me out of here and back to Oregon and Ginger?" I said "Ah, don't worry, I wont let anything happen to you." She said "There’s more you should know.

I think they are smuggling in cats from overseas."

I opened my miniature cell phone that I keep attached to my collar and dialed Bob. "Hello?" the sleepy voice responded. "Bob, I’m clinging by my toenails to the wet bricks at the top of this old theater in New York. They’re smuggling cats and Coco is in trouble and..." Bob interrupted: "Wait a minute, Tub, are you into the cat nip again?" "Bob, you are not funny. Call the New York Swat Team and get some help down here!" I said, as my battery slowly faded. "Hello? Hello?" Just then a shaft of moonlight broke through and shined right on us. We must have looked like Romeo and Juliet way up there. All of the sudden there were sirens and flashing lights. Bob had called the New York Police. Even the mayor was there. "Get a ladder up there and get those cats... we’ve been watching this smuggling ring." As we descended the ladder, cold and shivering, there were Ginger and Bob. We all hugged, and even though most of the time I don't like Bob, I really felt, well, warm all over. "But Bob," I asked, "how did you get here so fast from Nebraska?" "Oh, Harry and I have been on your trail ever since you left," he said. "Oh that’s so sweet," I said. "You really care." "Nah, you had the formula for our cat food packed in your suit case. I told you never to take those formulas for clean pet food out of our vault." The mayor asked all of us to spend a few days in NYC and see the sights. It sure was great. Ginger and Coco went back to Oregon and they are now selling Harry's Best® Pet Food there. Bob and Harry and I went back to Nebraska and back to work. Or at least they went to work. I am the brains behind the operation. 

TUB 

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