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Harry's Adventures - Part I
by Harry Plymate / R.S. (Registered Schnauzer) 

I have often wondered why humans act the way they do. You see in the world of us K-9s there is a certain order of things. Normally, the big dogs rule. That is why I am glad to have Spike the junkyard pit bull as my friend. Why, if I'm ever in trouble all I have to do is call Spike and he seems to be able to solve the problem. There was this time last year at the State Fair where the carnival dogs almost almost had me. 

Good thing Spike was there. I did not know that Mimi the dancer was Duke's cousin. Anyhow, if it hadn’t been for Tubby up in the tree hollering "Bite him, Harry", there would not have been so much trouble. Tub loves to see me in trouble. He is still ticked that we did not call our pet food company "Oglethorp’s Best." (what a name!) and he wonders why I don’t speak to him sometimes.  (TUB)

You know over the years respect has been replaced by a "me first" attitude. Why, Bob says years ago it was practically unheard of for someone to speak pejoratively about others publicly - now it seems to be the order of the day. Respect; a feeling of differential approval or high esteem. How could this help things? Well in the world of us dogs, it means that we accept you humans for what you are and overlook any deficiencies that you might have. This is a great feeling to have a friend that really loves you for who you are and never to say a disparaging word about you. I remember at puppy training school, we would never show disrespect for our teachers and always held them in high esteem. We were thankful that they would teach us and care about us so much. Some of the fondest memories I have are about my teachers and all they did to get me started in life with knowledge and values. I hope that they still remember me. 

And there was Rex, the police dog, who risked his life to go in and find the really bad person that had caused so much trouble. Bob says that the police should have our respect. Some night when your mother or sister or children are home and there is a noise like someone breaking in, they could dial the police and they will come and risk their lives to save your family. And Rex the police dog would be with them. They have families and loved ones and pets too...well, you get the idea. 

Anyhow, the pet food business is really heating up. There are some stores that want to carry our pet food products. Tub wants to set up a table at one of the big grocery stores and hand out samples of his cat food. He says that is a good way to meet some new friends. Ya, right. Bob and I do all the work - set up the table, carry in the samples, and then Tub comes hobbling in with his back paw all taped up and spends the rest of the day with shopping kitties asking about his ski injury. Good grief, its June, this is Nebraska, what are they thinking of? Tub thinks he is such a big shot. The other morning Bob accidentally stepped in Tub’s rest room facility (Box) at the pet food plant. Bob skidded along, flipped over and landed on the cement. He lay there for a moment mumbling something about Tubby. I thought the whole thing was hilarious until I realized that Tub was moving his office next to mine, and of course he says that his cat box has to be exactly 22 feet from his desk so everything is timed perfectly. Sometimes I wonder if he is really all there. 

A new family moved here, and they have a very nice little pet named Lucille - she is really a knockout. All the dogs down at the junkyard are talking about her. Well, Bob says go and meet her and give her a pack of our pet food. I am a little shy and, well, I just didn’t know what to say. Tub offered to hide in the bushes and coach me. Oh, I am sure that would help a lot. Tub can't even get the cats in town to speak to him. Well, I worked up a little nerve and set out for Lucille’s house. It was just getting dark and cool breezes were coming in from the south, it kind of fluffed my fur and I imagined myself looking a little like Clark Gable in gone with the wind. Just as I got there I heard someone talking and I stopped for a moment to listen. The voice said: "As soon as we get settled we will get Lucille ready to be shipped to the South American clinic. And when they fit her with those radioactive implants we can go ahead with phase two. There should be millions in this. In a little town like this no one will be any the wiser." 

Just then I heard a sneeze in the bushes behind me. Good grief, it is Tub. Tub, for crying out loud, why are you sneaking around here? 

"Harry, I am a cat I am always sneaking around. That’s what we do. Besides I was going to give you pointers on what to say to Lucille." 

"No thanks," I said, "every time you get involved there is always trouble. Now will you just leave?"

"Fine but don’t ask me for help later. Schnauzers are a strange bunch." 

"Registered Schnauzer, and don’t forget it," I said, as Tub disappeared into the night. 

I waited for a while until the strangers disappeared. Then I boldly approached the door and rang the bell. The door slowly opened and a tall dark complected, very mysterious person said, "May I help you?" and looked around for whoever rang the bell. While he was looking, I slipped in and hid behind the couch. 

"Who was at the door?" I heard from the parlor. "No one Madame, probably pranksters. Check on Lucille in the basement before you retire." 

"Yes Madame." 

I waited there in the dark for what seemed an eternity, and when I thought it was safe I made my way to the basement door and down the stairway. There was a long hallway, and I had no idea where Lucille was. Good gravy, what was I going to say? Hello, it's midnight, I am Harry the local welcoming committee? Suddenly, I heard this beautiful voice singing "Someday my Prince will come." As I followed the singing I couldn’t help but hum along. As the door opened, moonlight beamed in through her window and she was a silhouette of beauty standing there looking over at me. As our eyes met I knew this was the Schnauzer I had been looking for all my life. We didn’t speak a word, but just stood there in the pale moonlit basement room, and for a moment in time we were lost in Schnauzer ecstasy. 

To be continued...Part II

Be good to your pet...